Volim te, Bosni.

So I've left. I am currently writing this blog post from Bochum, Germany, my new home. Weird, right? The last part of my stay in Bosnia went so fast, but I guess the whole year went quickly. I cried. It was hard to leave. It's weird to be here. I feel like I have so many things I want to say about Bosnia, about Sarajevo, and yet it has become so natural to me, so normal, that I don't really have a way to articulate it. I am incredibly grateful to everyone I met, all of my friends, all of the people who taught me a lot and helped me. And although I can feel my move (in the pain in my shoulders) it will take a bit to sink in. Of course this fall is going to start so soon and all of a sudden it will be winter (I leave for Warsaw for the start of my program on September 2nd) and then I will reflect and be amazed. But now, now I'm all in my head and not on the ground.

I will be back to Bosnia, I know I will. I don't know when, which is the tricky part, but leaving Sarajevo was unlike leaving any other place. It wasn't like home, it wasn't Boston. I have (of course) incredible connections there, to people and to the cities, but Sarajevo was mine, all mine, and there's a feeling that I just can't put into words about how it makes me feel. It was also hard for me. I feel like I came through a lot in the past 12 months. Germany is going to be hard in other ways and I'm ok with that, but Bosnia will always be that place for me. I always tried to explain my love for Bosnia like falling in love with someone -- you don't know what it is but there's this unexplainable connection and even though you can list things about the person it's not just the qualities that make you love him/her. And now I feel like Bosnia and I have gone our separate ways. Not because of some betrayal of trust but because we have two different immediate futures. I know I can go back but right now I need to be here (I will sell this paragraph to some romantic-comedy screenwriter). I just hope that Bosnia will be back in my life at some point.

And now it's time to say goodbye. Or, it already was. It's funny how moves are so huge but in the process of moving all you are thinking about is how you are going to get your bags onto the train. And then in a matter of hours you are somewhere else. It's definitely a combination of a mental and physical departure.

I thought about it and this will be my last post. I know that I am still far away from home and from family and friends, but it's no longer an adventure in Sarajevo and now that I'm entering school (again) I don't think my updates will have that much interest (i.e. studying, writing papers, stress from exams). I'll leave this blog open for my possible return to Bosnia but I'm not planning on making one for Germany. Thank you for reading and keeping in touch with me. Please please send me emails, they always make me happy and I love knowing what's going on with all of you -- and I can share my German stories that way.

Much, much love,

Liz

Although We've Come to the End of the Road...

(You're welcome for getting that song stuck in your head too.)

So seriously, one year has gone by so fast. Ok, not quite exactly a year yet but it will be, very soon. I'm leaving on the 27th -- officially. I'm not going to lie, it's been rough. I've been very emotional (and stressed) and I'm not ready to leave yet. Everyone has said that I can return, and I know it's true but it's just not the same, it won't ever be the same. I'm excited for my next step, grad school and Germany should be incredible but it's no Sarajevo, no Bosnia. Right now I'm just getting ready for my move and soaking up my time here. I felt like I had more to share but I can't think of anything right now. I'll try to do one more post before I leave but I wanted to keep you all updated on my departure.

Istanbul, Not Constantinople

If you don't know the reference to that song -- go now and youtube it. If you do know it, I apologize for getting it stuck in your head for the next 3 days.

So time continues to fly by this summer -- it's already the end of July, and the beginning of the Sarajevo Film Fest, which is quite a big deal. Last night was the opening, red carpet and all, so this week should be interesting and fun! But I spent the past week traveling. I went with Caleb to Istanbul via Belgrade and had an incredible time.

We took a combi to Belgrade which was so hot. It was close to 40℃ that day, so it made the trip....hot. But, we got in, got to Caleb's friend's place where we were staying and slept well. The next day, our only day in Belgrade, we made the most of it. We explored and Caleb did a great job showing me around. It was nice because he has been to Belgrade many times to visit friends or pass through but has never "done" Belgrade so we were very effective in seeing the city. Also we have friends from Sarajevo who are doing internships (as part of their Master's) in Belgrade this summer so we got to meet up with them, but by the time we were going to the bar (a very cool bar on the water) both of us were so tired from seeing the city and had to go home because we had our train ride to Istanbul early the next morning.

Belgrade is a really nice city. I think it has a very mixed identity -- very different from both Sarajevo and Zagreb, but at the same time sort of a mix of both. Whenever I thought of Serbia, I always thought if it in the context of the war in Bosnia and the break-up of Yugoslavia, I mean, it's hard not to. And I've met great Serbian people in Sarajevo but the country and politics I always thought of in the terms of my first introduction through the 90s war. But on my way to Serbia, as I was reading my guide book on Belgrade, I realized that I am an American entering a country that my country was a main part of bombing for 78 days. Regardless of the reasons (Kosovo) that NATO deciding to bomb Serbia, the point is that I was asking myself how I would feel if someone from a country that bombed my city for 3 months came to visit. Now, that being said, I was met only with complete kindness from people in Belgrade. But it makes you think. I would love to go back and visit more, but I'm happy I got to see it at least for one day before I leave the Balkans.

Then we took a 24, ahem, excuse me, 27-hour train ride from Belgrade to Istanbul. It wasn't too bad, I mean there were times when it was really hot or just frustrating, but all in all it was a great experience. We even met an extremely nice couple sharing our couchette. They ended up staying near us so we met up frequently throughout our stay in Istanbul.

It's hard to even begin describing my stay in Istanbul. It was truly wonderful. There is so much to see and do -- 4 days was great but I think if you had a month you still couldn't see everything. A second visit is a definite must. The city is filled with tourists, which is kind of relieving to just let go and allow yourself to take out that map/guide and read it in the open and not half hidden under your table at a cafe. There are beautiful buildings/mosques everywhere. And of course there are the important and most famous ones but there are so many that aren't even marked or mentioned yet their beauty is astounding. The urban landscape just incorporates the ancient buildings with ease and the city has a great tram for easy public transportation. Even though there are many tourists it doesn't feel overly crowded or packed, of course you have that time of the day when the line for the Palace is ridiculous but the streets themselves don't feel overwhelming.

Trying now to remember all that we saw is even a lot. Of course there was the Blue Mosque and the Aya Sofya, as well as the Topkapi Palace and Suleymaniye Mosque. Each one is so impressive with the detailed designs, the architecture is astounding and then you take into account how incredibly old they are and it just boggles the mind. The Grand Bazaar was so beautiful, of course expensive, but I was also impressed at how calm it was, relatively speaking. A lot of the items, especially the ever-famous Evil Eye, you can find in Sarajevo. We were going to take a visit to the Turkish Baths but Istanbul is a bit pricey, especially compared to how spoiled we are in Bosnia. So we had to pass, but we filled up our time in other ways. We took a ferry to the Asian side, which was very different. Much newer and had a nice market with fish and it was a bit calmer. I'm so happy we got to see the difference. We also took a Bosphorus Cruise to see more sights along the water and spend our last day relaxing with a different perspective. By some weird events we got to sit up with the captain of the boat, have tea and I even got to steer the boat!! I'm sure the rest of the people below would not have been too happy to know that I was in charge during the "busiest part" of the Bosphorus. Oh well! Gosh, what else! We saw parks and walked along the water at various places. Met great people, ate delicious food -- both seafood and a large amount of kebaps and doner. When you are on the boat you see just how huge the city is -- it never seems to end. The hills are steep but provide an excellent view. Taksim Square was a fun place to go out but was pretty packed.

It's just really astounding how old everything is -- and how people live within the ancient. Bosnia has its own Ottoman part which is really wonderful but nothing as magnificent has Istanbul's buildings. And you really see a mix of people too. I mean there are a lot of tourists that come from all over, including a fair amount from the Middle East. The overlap between the two empires -- Byzantine and Ottoman is so interesting. Especially when you are in the Haghia Sophia and you can still see many of the Christian mosaics yet are surrounded by Islamic elements.

It was such a great trip and went by so fast yet we did so much. I can't wait to go back. I feel like there are endless things to see and it was such a nice atmosphere -- except maybe the heat -- like I said, a return is a must.

Travels & Updates

Wow, it's been quite a while since I last posted on here. Up until now, that was mostly due to the routine nature of my days, but now that's changed!

In May I took a trip to Germany. I debated posting about it here since it really has nothing to do with my "Sarajevo Adventures" but then I realized that my experience there has impacted my perspective on my life in Sarajevo. I have been accepted to a Master's program (in International Humanitarian Action) in Bochum, Germany. I'm very excited about the program -- although a bit nervous about a return to school after a year of, let's call it, unintensity. When I got to Germany I actually had a bit of culture shock -- it seemed so much like home. In truth, I went in with no expectations because the trip seemed to come up so fast but when I got there I was pointing out all the Starbucks, it was pretty ridiculous. I wanted a sign around my n

eck that said, "Yes I know I'm American but I've been living in Bosnia so cut me a break." Anyway, meeting with the coordinator of the program reaffirmed that I wanted to do this Master's come fall, but I also realized that I would be leaving a city that I truly love and has a unique beauty for a simple, normal German town. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it just seems that my years will be polar opposites: th

is past year I was in a place that I love nothing doing much and next year I will be intensely busy in a not-so interesting place. But it's for the best. I couldn't have gone through my first six months in Bosnia doing the program I will do next fall. Ha, but this does mean moving to another country where I don't speak the language. Of course...
So that was most of May and now it's the end of June. Can you believe we are talking about July this week? This is ridiculous! But I just came off of an exciting past 2 weeks. Let me start from the beginning.

Me, eating a Berliner

So my parents planned their visit in mid-to-end of June so I took that time off of work. Then I deliberated about what to do -- I knew that I was leaving for Germany probably the end of August and I was doing nothing at work, nobody was doing anything, so I wrote to my supervisor-person and asked if it would be ok if I were to just end my internship when my parents came (since I took off the rest of June anyway). I figured I would be in and out of Sarajevo with travels 'n such so it would be silly for me to feel the obligation to come to the office and just sit there -- I had been doing that too much for the rest of the past 9 months. So, he said no problem. Officially I guess I am still working with them but I think that they've hit a brick wall. They have no funding and I believe have let everyone go. This is all hearsay but it sounds pretty bad. So that's the internship.

Then my parents came! It was incredible because everyone here knows that I have been talking about their visit nonstop and then they were finally here! First we spent a few days in Sarajevo. If I can just toot my own horn for a second here -- I was an excellent tour guide! We walked around a lot and got to see different sites. That's the best way to see Sarajevo, I think, just to walk around and take it all in. Oh and eat delicious food too -- that's a must! So after two days of Sarajevo we went to visit Fojnica. We saw the town, the monastery where I worked, the school where I taught and then had a bbq. It was perfect -- the weather held up and even my friends from Sarajevo came, which made it really special! It was just such a lovely night. The next day we left for the Croatian coast: we spent a few nights in Baska Voda, a small resort-ish town an hour from Split, a day trip to Split and then a night in Dubrovnik. It was a lot of driving but it was well worth it! Very hot but gorgeous. There is nothing like the Adriatic Sea -- the water is so incredibly blue-green and the mountains with the ocean is a beautiful contrast. Then we went back to Sarajevo for a day or so, went to the Tunnel museum and a few other things we didn't get to see the first time. The last night we met up with my friend Caleb and had dinner on the top of the hill, looking down into Sarajevo's valley. Then the next morning the three of us took off for Vienna. Vienna is spectacular! I didn't really think about it because I was so focused on being a good host for my parents in Bosnia/Croatia that I didn't have time to think ahead to the last leg of the trip, but I was thoroughly impressed with Vienna. So much history is there -- the buildings are enormous and it seems like every single one is beautiful. Also because I was traveling with my parents I got to go to many different museums (that I probably wouldn't have been able to afford if I was just going to Vienna on my own) and the art rivals beauty of the city. Of course it was expensive -- not only more than Bosnia but then you have to factor in the conversion to Euros which adds insult to injury. But I truly was impressed with the city. I even met up with my friend whom I taught in Fojnica a few years ago who is now going to university in Vienna so I got to see a different side of the city too. Really a spectacular trip all around -- not to mention the quality time I got with my parents!

And now I'm back in Sarajevo, with the calming sound of the call to prayer floating in my window. It really gives me such a perspective about how much and why I love Sarajevo/Bosnia. I am sad knowing that my days in Bosnia are numbered (and are going all too quickly) but I know I'll come back. Now I just gotta make this summer count so I can take advantage of all my Bosnian experiences!

Fudbal

So on Saturday there was the rival Sarajevo soccer teams game. There are two teams in Sarajevo, FK Sarajevo and FK Željezničar, or Željo. Let me preface with, neither of them are very good. That being said, no one comes to watch the game. Alright, mostly no one. Instead, the die-hard fans in Sarajevo, those that make up the two football factories (Europe's team-based gangs) come to out-do the other side. Sarajevo is from Koševo, my old neighborhood and Željo is from my new 'hood, Grbavica, so obviously I'm cheering for Željo. The game was in the old Olympic stadium in Koševo, so we decided that we would sit on the Sarajevo side, and we all coordinated so that we'd wear neutral colors (neither blue nor red) so that we couldn't be identified with either team. The stadium was way too big for the amount of people there but luckily the hardcore fans were condensed to behind each goal.

Well, as you can see, the spectacle did not disappoint. The crowds were rowdy, although I doubt they were even paying attention to what events took place during the game. There were security check points to get into the stadium and I had my pocket knife (that I carry with me everywhere but always forget it's in my bag) so they confiscated it. And I really couldn't complain, safety first, right? Well, when I see what everyone else managed to bring in, I was kind of like, shouldn't you be giving us pocket knives? But really, nothing was threatening at all. Even on the way out of the game, I thought maybe it might be rough, but it was very quiet. Mostly each side left a different way but then again, it's not even really about the game so I guess it's a good way to get out all the pent up frustration.

They had to stop the games several times when the fans started to throw flares onto the field. They had the police and security there but they weren't fazed. Željo fans were mostly flare-based and military-precision-like cheers. Sarajevo brought out the signs, the toilet paper and fire -- not flares, fire. They stopped the game while fire trucks put out the enormous flames (and then smoke covered half of the field for a while). It was quiet the event to say the least. Very entertaining and although the game ended 0-0, no one really cared.

Sretan Uskars!

Happy (belated) Easter! My weekend was amazing. I spent it planting potatoes, making a garden, playing soccer, playing badminton, partaking in the traditional egg-cracking contest (I lost, it was rigged, I swear), listening to a gypsy folk band and even a little dancing (although I was dragged up to do it, I got the nod of approval after).

Not much else to report. Sarajevo is really nice, maybe a bit on the cool side but this past weekend in Fojnica was gorgeous. It'll be really nice once the May weather kicks in but I'm not trying to rush into hot, sweaty weather any time soon.

Work has been same 'ol, same ol' and while I've had a few things to do, it's really starting to fall back into the routine of, well, nothing going on. But I think actually that's ok. Frustrating, boring, yes but it also gives me some free time this summer to travel and not feel guilty for missing anything at work -- because there's nothing to miss!

A Whirlwind Weekend of Balkan Adventures

So let me start off with, wow. I've been feeling a little spring fever induced antsy-ness (I don't want to go so far as to say anxiety) but I've felt a a little restless. I am very happy in Sarajevo but I needed a change. It is, after all, a pretty small city and the amount of things to do are growing but the different places to go are few. Anyway, regardless I needed a change. And I change I got! I have two friends from my language class who are freelance journalists and they were going to make the journey to Kosovo, literally for a day because we all had another fellow

classmate/friend's wedding to attend on Saturday afternoon in Sarajevo. So, they kindly extended the invitation to a

nyone who wanted to go and I leapt at the chance. What is a better way to change it up than to have a short adventure? So we left early Friday morning for our journey. We were going to Kosovka Mitrovica (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kosovska_Mitrovica) because there was a youth center there that was opening and they were going to cover the event. Mitrovica is the definition of a divided city. It really doesn't get much worse than that. The northern side is the Serbian part and the southern side is the Albanian part, with a river in between. It is not that people can't cross the bridge but rather that they won't. Follow the wikipedia link to find out some background information on the city, but basically it has been a very violent city since 1999

(probably before that as well) and the tension is high. The youth center was created in an attempt to bring Albanian and Serbian youth

together and although they

freely admit that it is not a solution just a first step, still it is not looking good. At the opening of the event only 10% of the people who attended (a lot of bigwigs both international and local as well as students) were from the South side (it's located on the Northern, Serbian side). And the point is, you have to pick aside to put it on, there's no way that you can put it in the middle, but that means someone has to cross and frankly, it's a risk. Some of the teenagers/20-somethings that we talked to said that they do cross for the occasional coffee but mostly they don't. One official told the journalists that there are about 70 instances of conflict a month. 70!! We felt safe, it wasn't a hostile environment all around, it was a very directed tension. After we left the opening we walked around and actually on both sides we were approached by teenagers who were interested in why we were there, it's not a very high tourist destination. They talked about it and were very blunt. It's interesting because I feel that when I talk about nationalistic rhetoric in Bosnia people are first quick to deny it's "as bad as you think" and then as the conversation gets going, more and more nationalism comes out (if that person is so inclined to think that way, not everyone is a nationalist). But what was interesting is that no one denied it in Kosovo. It was point-blank "I hate Serbs" or "Remember, Kosovo is part of Serbia." It's very interesting because Serbia doesn't recognize Kosovo as a country (even though they share a border and crossing was interesting, how do you deny the other country yet you need to check my passport to pass? Also, it wasn't a very official border, almost like a gas station on the street), so there is a population (Serbs) in Kosovo who doesn't agree that the country that they are living in is a country. You see it everywhere, the flags, even the language is different and you can get into big trouble speaking the wrong language in a part of Mitrovica. I was told that the Kosovo police don't even have authority in the Serbian part, no one recognizes them. Actually, it's very interesting because there is a lot of military presence in Kosovo, you see tanks driving on the roads and in Mitrovica there were KFOR, UN, EU and other forces there at various points, but at all four corners of the bridge. We even saw police checking every car that drove on the bridge. It's like an exaggerated Bosnia. It raised a lot of questions and it was too bad that our trip was so short. All three of us really wanted to stay and there's talk of even returning. Of course that's just one city in Kosovo but a very interesting city to say the least.

But our drive was long. The trip was actually only about 420 km (=260 miles) so that's a little over a 4 hour drive, I guess, b

ut since there are no highways in the Balkans -- ok, not true but let's say on this particular drive through Bosnia, Serbia an

d Kosovo we didn't come across anything more than a two-lane road, mostly through the m

ountains -- it was about a 9 hour drive each way. So the trip all together was about 30 hours with 17-18 hours in the car

and only 2-3 hours of sleep. Still, I'd say definitely worth it!

On our way back we stopped in Višegrad to take some pictures of the Bridge on the Drina, which Ivo Andrić received a Nobel Prize for writing a book with the same name (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bridge_on_the_Drina). This is a picture of the bridge.

Then, we went back to Sarajevo for the wedding and before I could crash (even though we were all a little loopy from lack of sleep) I hopped on the bus to Fojnica. I stayed there Sunday, enjoyed some beautiful weather and a nice day of walking and then went to Zagreb with a friend and a few other people.

It was a perfect situation because there were a few people from Fojnica who were going to do a job (working on a house) in Zagreb and I got to ride along and then stay at my friend's cousin's place while I was there. The first day, Monday, it was disappointing because it was quite rainy and unfortunate weather but my friend's cousin took me around with his friends and showed me, maybe not too much of Zagreb but a nice cafe/bar tour. Ha. I was a little worried I wouldn't get to see the city in our short trip but luckily I got the next day to explore on my own and enjoy some beautiful, sunny weather.

Zagreb is a great city. It's full of churches, museums and beautiful Autro-Hungarian buildings. Really, I thought I was in a little Budapest. It didn't hurt that it was an early-spring day. It was a nice change from Sarajevo, it's much bigger, the streets are wider and, I hate to say this, but it's more European. There are most Western stores and shops and the whole place is more, I'd say, comfortable. I thought it was really beautiful and was actually surp

rised because mostly you hear about Belgrade and what a great city that is but not much about

Zagreb. There are many different squares with parks and statues and it's very easy to navigate, although I almost had a heart attack because basically no one pays for the trams but as we all I know I'm not too good with breaking the rules, but when in Rome...and it turned out fine. There was a great market that I dabbled in and bought some pretty flowers to give to our hosts and ducked into many different churches that were each very unique. I didn't try any the museums because I wanted to get more a feel for the city in my short time but I'm sure if I go b

ack, I'll have to check at least some of them out. I have many (mixed) feelings about Zagreb and I guess my opinion of the city caught me off guard --

I wasn't expecting to think so much of it. I sat in one really nice square and drank some coffee outside and co

ntemplated my feelings toward the city and as compared to Sara

jevo. I think Zagre

b is a beautiful, European city that

I could be happy living in (this is all from one day, mind you) but it's just not as interesting or complex as Sarajevo. I love that you can be leaving a church in Sarajevo and hear the call to prayer from a minaret across the street. Ah, it's not like I have

to choose but it's good to know that I enjoyed it, whatever that will mean, we will see.

And now I'm back in Sarajevo, at work (which I have skipped for a few days). The sun is shining but it's not too warm. Hopefully with April a few days away that will mean some permanent spring weather.