So I've left. I am currently writing this blog post from Bochum, Germany, my new home. Weird, right? The last part of my stay in Bosnia went so fast, but I guess the whole year went quickly. I cried. It was hard to leave. It's weird to be here. I feel like I have so many things I want to say about Bosnia, about Sarajevo, and yet it has become so natural to me, so normal, that I don't really have a way to articulate it. I am incredibly grateful to everyone I met, all of my friends, all of the people who taught me a lot and helped me. And although I can feel my move (in the pain in my shoulders) it will take a bit to sink in. Of course this fall is going to start so soon and all of a sudden it will be winter (I leave for Warsaw for the start of my program on September 2nd) and then I will reflect and be amazed. But now, now I'm all in my head and not on the ground. I will be back to Bosnia, I know I will. I don't know when, which is the tricky part, but leaving Sarajevo was unlike leaving any other place. It wasn't like home, it wasn't Boston. I have (of course) incredible connections there, to people and to the cities, but Sarajevo was mine, all mine, and there's a feeling that I just can't put into words about how it makes me feel. It was also hard for me. I feel like I came through a lot in the past 12 months. Germany is going to be hard in other ways and I'm ok with that, but Bosnia will always be that place for me. I always tried to explain my love for Bosnia like falling in love with someone -- you don't know what it is but there's this unexplainable connection and even though you can list things about the person it's not just the qualities that make you love him/her. And now I feel like Bosnia and I have gone our separate ways. Not because of some betrayal of trust but because we have two different immediate futures. I know I can go back but right now I need to be here (I will sell this paragraph to some romantic-comedy screenwriter). I just hope that Bosnia will be back in my life at some point.
And now it's time to say goodbye. Or, it already was. It's funny how moves are so huge but in the process of moving all you are thinking about is how you are going to get your bags onto the train. And then in a matter of hours you are somewhere else. It's definitely a combination of a mental and physical departure.
I thought about it and this will be my last post. I know that I am still far away from home and from family and friends, but it's no longer an adventure in Sarajevo and now that I'm entering school (again) I don't think my updates will have that much interest (i.e. studying, writing papers, stress from exams). I'll leave this blog open for my possible return to Bosnia but I'm not planning on making one for Germany. Thank you for reading and keeping in touch with me. Please please send me emails, they always make me happy and I love knowing what's going on with all of you -- and I can share my German stories that way.
Much, much love,
Liz
