I had signed up for language classes from a school that was recommended to me by the other American intern at Gariwo, Caleb, and they were supposed to begin last week but unfortunately some of the people dropped out so there weren't enough people for the class so it was canceled. Currently I'm looking into possibly taking private lessons or there is another group that might start soon so I am waiting to hear more about that. The place has been so helpful and it totally has not been their fault but I am frustrated that I am still unable to say the simplest of things.
Although that hasn't kept me from doing things. I still go grocery shopping and to the bakery (and simply point and say "molim?" which means please so show which bread I'd like) and have even paid my bills by myself. Ha, it's the little victories...
In one way I remind myself that it's only been a month and other times I'm embarrassed that I've been here a month and still can't communicate. But I think that's just how I've been feeling about living here in general. Sometimes I am so so happy and could just walk for hours and hours through Sarajevo and just soak it all in and other times, I am frustrated with myself and my situation. It's all part of the process and it's the beginning so I knew that this would be the toughest.
Sunday was the election and so now I'm spending time trying to figure out what the results mean and what's in store for Bosnia. There was a lot of propaganda before the elections but it was lost on my (again, have no idea what is being said) but the system is also complicated so it takes a bit more research for me to understand what the results entail. Both the Croatian and Bosniak elected president are more moderate but the Serbian is part of the party that has talked about seceding from BiH, so of course that just continues the difficulty of the three presidents working together. Also, Caleb was explaining to me yesterday that the moderate Croat elected president is not necessarily supported by Bosnian Croatians, but rather was elected by Bosniak votes which upsets some Croatians because they feel he's not a representation of them. Phew! Ha, I'm sure as I learn more it will become more confusing because nothing is as it seems.
I can't predict how the fall is going to be here. So far it's been cold and rainy and the next day is sunny and pleasant. Basically, I'm back in Boston. Of course it rained today because I did my laundry and it's hanging on my balcony to dry, so I'm hoping the sun comes out later today. This past weekend was really nice, I spent it in Fojnica, and I'm hoping that the weather will shape up at least by next weekend.
In two weeks Ila, a friend from Boston, will come visit me for the weekend. She's taking a European tour to see some friends and it will be so nice to have her here for a bit! I told her I'll do an Ila Visit post, so maybe I'll take advantage of her company and take some more pictures while she's here and put them up! I still haven't really shared what Sarajevo looks like, just my view from my walk to work.
Speaking of work, it's been going well. I don't have too much to do but I have written some articles for the website (the Bosnian one, and one of my coworkers translates it for me) and I've gotten some really nice feedback so that's good. Hopefully once the fall begins I'll have a bit more to do on the day to day basis but in the meantime I'm taking advantage of this time to do research and just get a better feel and understanding for Bosnia's current position. Although, a lot of that, I am learning just from talking to people (hence why communication would be so great!). The catch is that everyone has a different opinion, which makes for an interesting collection of thoughts but is hard to get the actual facts, but maybe that's the point. My optimism is wavering a bit, especially when I talk to people and they accept the status quo and think I'm a naive American for thinking that things can change. I'm learning that I have to find my own position here and I completely respect that I am an outsider and will always be a foreigner and will never be able to understand certain aspects, but it's hard to communicate that to people and at the same time explain that I believe that things can change in Bosnia and that it's up to the people of my generation to change it. It's also hard because some people joke with me and say, oh thank you for coming to my country to help, teasing me and also acknowledging the immense number of organizations that are here with international aid or other NGOs, but I want to say, I'm not here to pity or sympathize, I really just love it here and am happy when I'm here! It's because of me that I moved here.
Ha, so I guess although I am still struggling to verbally communicate with people in Bosnian (or Croatian or Serbian...) I am having an interesting inner dialogue the whole time.
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